Now all things are from God (Part 3 of 3)
The Testimony of these Principles in My Life
As with most of my studies, the inspiration behind many of the things I study is a personal experience. God often works in my life and seeing His hand inspires me to dig into the Word. I believe a recent experience in my own life has given testimony to these things God has shown in scripture. This testimony covers a span of eight years and I did not truly realize the full impact of God’s work in my life until a few weeks ago.
I am not a professional minister but I work in the secular workforce. I took a job eight years ago in a small company that was in the process of being purchased by a fortune 500 company. Shortly after accepting this position, my entire world changed when God delivered me from many addictions and a sinful lifestyle. Prior to this encounter with God, my greatest priority was my career. I work in the technology industry and this industry changes almost daily. In order to maintain marketable skills, it is vital to get certified on products and maintain those certifications. To stay on top of the market, many after work hours are required and study is very time-demanding. When God revealed to me that my priority was ministry I realized that this conflicted with my career. I surrendered my career to God and said that there is no way to maintain my career and do ministry at the same time. I prayed and gave God charge over my career and I accepted His call to ministry. Since that time, I have seen the power of God working in both my career and ministry that often leaves me standing in amazement. God has been faithful even when I have not.
Shortly after becoming involved in a local ministry, a pastor friend of mine invited me to be a part of an in-depth study program with several other men who also felt the call to preach. Over the course of the next several months, he began to tell me the necessity to quit my job and trust God to provide for me as I pursued a full-time study in seminary. Several of the other men I met with were in similar situations and over time many of them did quit their jobs and followed this advice. I could never get peace about this and prayed regularly for God to show me what direction I should go. One day I received what I truly believed to be an answer from God. On a specific date in September (I believed it was Sep 23rd), I would know what direction to go. Over the next few weeks this became more and more solid in my heart and I shared it with those I met with. I didn’t exactly know what God was going to do because He did not reveal it to me. I assumed that it would be the end of my secular career.
One of the reasons I believed my job would be ending is because when the decision was made to accept the sale of my company to a larger one, the effort to acquire new contracts was greatly reduced. I did not have an active project for almost a year. This was in fact an opportunity from God to serve because during that year, I was heavily involved in a ministry called the Bread of Life. I preached at several services each week in the day and evenings and I had ample time to study and prepare messages. I was paid fulltime to be available for projects by my company but was able to spend most of my time working with this ministry and a local prison ministry.
September 23rd arrived and I received a call from my manager. He had a sullen sounding voice and said that I needed to come into the office. I took time out to pray and just asked God to go before me and make the way before me clear. If I lost my job today, I could rest confidently as long as I knew this was God’s plan.
I arrived at my office for the big meeting. God had reinforced this date in my mind repeatedly over the last three months and I was confident that this would confirm the future direction of my life and ministry (which it did). As I sat with my manager he explained how that work had been slow to come in this year and apologized that I had not been given any significant projects for about a year. I thought I was ready for what was coming next. He then stated, “We don’t want to lose you as an employee so I want to know if you will accept x number of dollars as a pay raise? Do you think that is fair?”
I was floored. For nearly three months this moment had been impressed upon me as the answer to my prayer and I was prepared – and expecting to lose my job. By my manager’s own admission, I had not had any work for almost a year, yet he was now offering me what was equivalent to a 12.5% pay raise. Everything I thought I knew about my direction was radically different than the path God had prepared for me. I had all of my plans laid out before God, had the affirmation of those I had been meeting with and now God had answered my prayer in a way that was the farthest thing from my mind. Who gets a 12.5% pay raise on a good year – much less on a year with zero productivity? I left that meeting with a sense of bewilderment. As I prayed and sorted through it all, it became crystal clear to me that for now, I am exactly where God wants me to be. For months God had pointed me to this date and built up my anticipation so that I would not miss the point. Needless to say, this concept did not set well with the professional preachers I was meeting with. One even told me that he was praying that God would take my job away so I would be forced into fulltime ministry. I already had my answer, but told him to pray as much as he wanted. If God’s plan was for me to remain in the secular workforce, all the prayers in the world would not change this. His plan is perfect – even if it is not what I wanted. God has the power to direct my steps and until He reveals otherwise, I know I am where I should be.
In time my position changed and my ministry opportunities changed with it. A year later our small company began to be integrated into the larger corporation and I soon received a notification that my position was being eliminated. There were eight people across the country that served in the same role I worked in and we were all told to find a job in the company or outside the company because in ninety days our positions would be eliminated. I took this to the Lord and prayed, seeking direction. It had been two years and I had done little to prepare myself for new skills in a changing marketplace. This was right after the infamous dot.com bust and IT jobs were scarce. As you can imagine, this was a great cause for concern but as I prayed I received an answer that goes completely against my personality. I don’t like to wait to see if problems will go away but like to get issues resolved quickly and I have trouble waiting when I know I could be working to resolve a problem; however, God made it crystal clear to me that I was to do nothing. I spoke to a fellow team member who was very nervous and asked me if I had any luck finding a job. I felt a little silly because I had not even updated my resume.
Ninety days later we all received a call to meet with management. On the way to the meeting, I stopped and prayed. I was concerned because God had not opened any doors and I had no prospects to pursue once my job was gone, yet I still had a family to provide for. I prayed and asked that God would just go before me and give me the confidence that whatever happened was His will. I wish I could say that I was bold as a lion and was able to rest in confidence knowing that God was in control, but in reality I was nervous and found it difficult to go where God was leading me. The meeting time arrived and management began to explain the changes in the company and then to everyone’s astonishment it was stated that our position could not be eliminated at this time because we were vital to meet the company’s needs during this time of transition as we merged with our purchasing company. I just had to shake my head and ask why I doubted God’s plan. As I stated in the previous study, doubt is not a sin, unbelief is a sin. Doubt can lead to unbelief but we also have been given the power to have faith in God even when our flesh cries out in doubt.
A few months later we found out that we were being transferred to a support group within the company. I thought my testing was over, but far from it. As I arrived in my new group, I found that this group was also slated for a reduction in a couple of months. Now I am under a new manager that does not even know my name but will decide my fate with the company in less than 60 days. Things suddenly did not look good; however, I at least had the benefit of knowing that God was able to make a way even when it did not seem possible.
The day I arrived in my new group I was assigned to a project that no one wanted to do. Our company’s network ran on software from a company that went bankrupt and now every computer had to be changed to a new standard. New guys get all the fun. The place I worked the day before had its own network, software, configurations and everything was completely different than the group I now was expected to support. I was assigned to work with a contractor who was well versed on the project; however, when I came in the next day, I found out that he was let go. The decision was made to release all contractors before the big layoff. I called my manager and was told that the only one who knew about the project was the individual who managed the contractor. I was to call him to see how to get support to learn how to do this project. When I called, he told me, “I am not your manager; I am not on your team; I am not even in your chain of command. Do not call me again”. Now I was sitting on a project in a company that I knew nothing about and was expected to configure every computer in two states with a configuration I knew nothing about. I sat down and stared at a couple of meaningless papers that was given to me and said, “God, I don’t know what to do. I have no one to call and have no information. I am completely lost”.
While the words were still on my lips, a man I have never seen before walked up and started talking non-stop. He asked if I was on this project and then started talking about the project with great enthusiasm. He never paused long enough for me to even ask a question; however, he gave me just enough information to get started. I have met this person several times since and he loves to talk. He is normally a telecommuter but had to come in the office that day to get something. After giving me the information I needed, he said, “I have to run to get on a conference call” and he was gone. Once again, God has provided a way where there was none.
As I slowly began to figure out how to do this project, I began to get things done. Shortly afterward I had another encounter with a talkative tech who began talking about some things that he was very interested in. He was a true computer geek and loved to talk about technical things. In the course of his conversation I picked up on a few tools that were available to us that I realized would help me do my job. I was able to apply this to the project I was working on and greatly improve my production on this project. It was not long before people in other areas began calling me to find out how I was working so fast. By the time the lay-off day arrived, every manager in our division up to the VP level knew my name and thought I was the expert. Not only did I survive the lay-off but when our division was reorganized, I received the highest rating and was made the team lead over our group. I have several more examples of God’s amazing work to bless me and increase my career after I surrendered it all to Him. Over time I began to realize how little we are responsible for our own success. There are many who work hard but never rise to the top.
It is easy to see God’s hand in this portion of my testimony. It is exciting to talk about how God opens doors, blessed my finances, and lifted me up above what I deserve. We all think of success as the blessings of God; however, what about when things don’t seem to be going our way? This testimony does not end here.
There were several more years of layoffs and reorganization as the lean years of our economy affected the technology world and strained many companies including mine. I survived all the layoffs but my manager did not. When my manager was laid off two years ago, two groups were merged into one and we all reported to one manager. Soon I realized that favoritism was the primary style of evaluation for my new manager. Unfortunately, since I was on the same level as her team lead, I was viewed as a rival rather than a team member. There were several unethical things going on within the group that adversely affected many things including the groups reputation with our clients within the company. I thought this was unknown and I tried to first address it with the individuals who did not seem to care and then I took it to our manager. She stated that it was not happening. I thought this meant she did not know it was happening but in reality she meant ‘wink-wink’ this isn’t happening. In other words don’t let on that you know. When I showed her indisputable proof this was going on, a nuclear explosion took place and I became enemy number one.
From this point on, she did everything in her power to destroy my career. None of my work was acknowledged and everything was criticized. She required that I cover up for the unethical behavior of others and when I would not participate, I was removed as a team lead. I tried to maintain a good attitude but many times it was difficult. Even though my production was the highest in the group, I was given a poor review and many very slanderous things were put in my review. I receive three quarterly reviews and an end of year final review. The quarter before this ethics issue came up, to my surprise, all positive comments were put in my review. Three months later everything was negative. It was obvious that this was retaliation for not participating in unethical practices. Fortunately I kept good records and I disputed these false statements and requested they be removed from my record. Every single negative comment was shown to be an obvious lie and was removed, but the negative rating was not. In the course of disputing my review, the ethics issue came up and was made self-evident to Human Resources and the next level of management; however, every person turned a blind eye to what was going on.
The next year was no different. Throughout the year I went through many ups and downs as the frustrations mounted. My manager would do something harmful and then I would have to deal with my anger and struggle with forgiveness. I knew that I was supposed to bless my enemies and forgive, but it was a constant battle. It only made things worse to see those who did no work and received constant complaints get praises and awards while I received condemnation and criticism even though my production was high and the surveys that are received from the customers we support were the highest in the group. I struggled through my feelings and would finally get to the point where I believed I was forgiving her about the time the next assault would arrive. Once again I would have to start the whole process again. I would have to work through my anger and frustration and try to forgive and pray for her. Over the last two years this was a constant rollercoaster ride.
At times the stress seemed almost unbearable. My manager would make me responsible over the areas where certain technicians refuse to work. I was not permitted to intervene but I was to be blamed when the work was not done right or wasn’t done at all. At the end of my own projects when the work was done, I would be removed from the project and someone favored would be put over it so that the credit would be given to others. On my 2004 review, it was stated that a major project was successful only because I gave my work to others and through their commitment, the work was completed. People I didn’t know were saying negative things about me based solely on third-hand information. Those I worked with spoke favorable of me while those who did not know me repeated the slander. For me, this was the most difficult part of my struggles. I have a hard time picturing how having my name slandered could glorify God. I didn’t know why this was happening and my family provided a lot of encouragement. For Father’s day last year my oldest daughter wrote about a dozen scripture references pertaining to trials on my card for me to look up and draw encouragement.
Even though I knew God’s word was true, I still did not know what God was doing or why I had such a sudden fall from success. One day I was considered to be the best tech in our region, the next day I was a failure. During my review, I was told about my ‘many failures’ but without a single specific instance. I could not get anyone in management to point to a problem that I could focus on to correct. I asked for a specific example so that I could address it but was told angrily that this question was an example of my refusal to take ownership of my failures. Was this all part of God’s judgment? According to the common belief of many, it must be sin or a lack of faith. How many Christians are there that fight similar struggles alone because there is no encouragement from the church?
Earlier this year we completed our final review for 2005 and yet again I received a low rating and all the comments were neutral statements that didn’t say anything positive or negative about my performance. Once again I fought a long battle with my flesh. It was indisputable that I had the highest production in the group and the highest surveys. I excelled in every measurable category and yet I was rated low. It is only natural to be angry and I struggled with whether I should dispute my review again. I knew that the end result would be the same, but I would feel better if I could at least have my voice heard. I prayed about this and was tossed back and forth in my decision. On one hand, I felt like God was leading me to let go and trust Him and on the other hand, this was an injustice. Everyone around me said I should fight it and I wanted to fight it, but I did not have peace about it. I could definitely justify my position, but I kept coming across this verse in 1 Peter 2:23
23 who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously;
When I came across this passage, I felt convicted by it. Eventually I forgot about this passage and made the decision to fight this wrong. I ‘accidentally’ came across this passage again and decided that maybe I shouldn’t fight anymore but commit this to God who is able to judge righteously. Still I waited, unsure about my decision and the hostility from my manager continued stirring up the feelings that I should take a stand. Finally I received a notice from the corporate office that all reviews had to be signed by Friday – two days later. Now it was truly time to make a decision. I reviewed everything and it seemed like an air-tight case that I could present to show that this rating was not just. The mountain of proof before me beckoned me to go forward and I again decided that fighting this was the right thing to do. After all, this was unethical, unjust, and shouldn’t management above her know this is going on? Everyone around me at work and those away from work all seemed to agree that this should be fought, yet I still did not have peace about it when I prayed.
The day before I had to sign or dispute, I was in my car driving and decided to put in an audio Bible to listen to. Can you guess which passage came across my speakers? The book I just happened to land on included 1 Peter and I once again heard these words, “When He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously”. Perhaps God is trying to tell me something. I have to admit that sometimes it is very difficult to tell the difference between God’s voice and human emotions. Looking back I can usually tell, but when the emotions are crying out, it is hard to determine if they are of God. I should have known. If the decision to fight was God’s will, I would have had peace. My flesh would never call me to let go and commit my problems to Him who judges righteously.
I finally asked God to open my eyes to see what He was trying to teach me. I asked about the ethics – was it right to leave this unchallenged. Then I realized that I had already addressed this and no one cared. If they do not care and they are aware of it, it is now out of my hands. Will I care about this when I stand before God or will this be a meaningless thing that I have invested part of my life into? Is God limited to what doors He can open because I have an unjust blot on my record at work? Suddenly my fight didn’t seem so important as God began to open my eyes.
God then brought many things to mind. I began to look back over the last two years and see how much I have grown. I learned that there truly is a war between my flesh and the Spirit of God working in me. I learned how to fight through my emotions and yield myself to God – and I had many opportunities to practice. I learned how to depend on God and trust Him through difficult circumstances. I learned I do not have the power to be spiritual in myself but that I must place myself in His hands and pray for His strength. I now know that I do not have the power to love my enemy unless God changes my heart. I learned that I need God to give me power over my natural, fleshly desires to fight back and that He is not only able, but is always with me to accomplish these things in me. I learned that through success, I had slowly shifted too much of my life into my career and had begun to drift away from God’s call. I began to trust more in my career for my needs than in Him. I have been continuously reminded of the things that I know but have let slide. I also have seen God take theoretical faith and turn it into practical faith. The things I said I believed were much easier said than practiced; however, through hardship, I was forced to apply God’s truth to my life. This could never be done without hardship. I have learned that God sustains me and is in control even when the world around me is out of control. I could go on and on about what God revealed to me that I have been learning through difficulty that I would never have experienced in prosperity.
Most of all, I learned that ‘now all things are of God’. My manager did not do this to me, God did. While she meant it for evil, God was using her for my good. Rather than being my enemy, she was a blessing – a tool that God used to prune away many dead areas and create new growth that is invaluable. Even if I lose out because of what has been done to me, what I have gained is of such a great value that it is not worthy to be compared to what I have lost. I lost a few temporary things to gain many eternal things. Once I saw this trial from a godly perspective, forgiveness has become much, much easier. How can I despise someone that has been used by God to produce so much growth in my life? Where would my life be without the actions of my manager? Needless to say, I signed my review and thanked God for bringing these things into my life.
I don’t know if this is the end of this trial or just the point where God showed me just enough to realize that He is working. Whether God miraculously works in my favor or miraculously uses a fallen world to shape my character, I can rest confidently knowing that all this is the loving hand of God.
Every Christian should realize this important truth – all things are of God. It may be true that in the heat of the moment, our flesh will always rise up and challenge the work of God in our lives; however, realizing that it is the hand of God empowers us to do just as the Bible commands – be thankful in all things; rejoice when you suffer; and count it all joy when you fall into various trials. It is impossible for a Christian to mature until he or she realizes this important principle. It is not possible to grow to full maturity by only accepting the things that gratify our self-centered individual worlds. It is unfortunate that the individual Christian is being taught that everything in Christianity revolves around our comfort. While many teachers and preachers say that it is all about God, teaching that all problems fall outside of what God wants in our lives communicates an error that our comfort and pleasure is what Christianity is all about. True Christianity is all about conforming ourselves to the image of Christ and true faith is trusting God and allowing Him to use all things in our life to conform us to His image.
My hope is that each person can see that true faith is believing that God’s plan is perfect and that we must be willing to place our trust in God regardless of the circumstances. If we believe the error that faith is always prosperity and human comfort, we will never mature spiritually and instead of walking in faith and being shaped into the image of Christ, we will find out that we have fought against God our entire lives and never obtain the true promises and blessings of God. Many in the church spend their lives getting frustrated as God keeps bringing them through many of the same trials. Instead of letting God shape their lives, many view His work as a curse or an attack of the devil. Even the devil is subject to God and God will use the devil to shape your character. Stop worrying about what the devil is doing and start asking what God is doing.
Psalm 37:23-25 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, And He delights in his way. 24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the LORD upholds him with His hand. 25 I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread.
Never lose sight of this vital principle of scripture – Now all things are of God.
Eddie Snipes
Exchanged Life Outreach
http://www.exchangedlife.com
Eddie Snipes
Exchanged Life Outreach
http://www.exchangedlife.com
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